How important is humor to you? Not the ability to tell jokes per se. The ability to see the humor in different situations no mater how trying or difficult. In my family humor was always important. Not just with my parents, but when I became a parent as well.
Being divorced I always check to see if the person I am interested in has a sense of humor. Not only the ability to see the humor in situations and people, but the ability to laugh at themselves. It is a very handy tool to use through life.
Life situations can often end up stressful, not necessarily by intent. If you are short tempered and do not see the humor in situations, it can cost you.
Think about this for an instance. Would you rather meet someone who has a temper or a sense of humor? Which will be more productive and enjoyable in the long run?
My parents were married for 54 years when my father died. My mother would always say that anyone who said a couple does not have disagreements is lying. Or one of them is a slave to the whims of the other. Very true. I saw my parents disagree or if you want to call it that, argue.
My father cold always get my mother to laugh. Or at least smile. It made a huge difference to the two of them and to me. I passed the love of humor and developing a sense of humor on to my three children and it has been passed on to my grandson.
When a relationship gets stressful for whatever reason, either financial, geography, or personal beliefs it's important to be able to laugh at yourself. True, it can sometimes be difficult at the actual moment, but you can do it if you try.
Besides, if you have a sense of humor and can make people laugh, people are glad to see you. When my father died, tons of people showed up for the wake. He was well known in the city even though he was not in politics, and never wanted to be although others did want him to run for office. So many times that evening people came up to my mother and me to offer their condolences and said consistently, "We are really gonna miss Joe. He knew how to make people laugh!"
I remember as a child people always smiled when they saw him. That happens often with me as well. And I like the feeling.
Like the old saying goes, laughter is the best medicine--in any kind of situation or relationship.
Is laughter important to you in a relationship? Do you enjoy someone who can make you smile and laugh?
Tell me what you think!
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Monday, September 5, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Photos in online dating
Just how important are photos in online dating? The answer to that may have come to me by being an actor. When you go into a film or television audition they want a head shot. There are some actors who think this means a beauty shot so you look like something out of either GQ or Cosmo. Not true. With actors and I believe on dating sites, it is important that the photo look just like you, not some idealized image of you. You want the casting director and ultimately the director and producer to look at the head shot and say, oh, yeah, that's who it is. The photo looks just like them. No fancy stuff that took days to create just a simple photo that looks just like you.
Don't you want the person you are meeting for that important first date to think, when they see, you wow, just like their photo. First impressions linger. Besides, what does it tell you about someone whose photo looks nothing like them?
I remember once on a dating site starting a conversation with a woman. We exchanged emails and she was funny, smart and delightful. By her photo, she was a woman with short dark hair and blue eyes.
So after some email exchanges I thought what the heck, let's meet. So we did. For coffee. Coffee is a relatively safe bet. You can either extend the time from that initial first contact, or bail if it doesn't seem to be working out--fast!
So we met at a nearby coffee shop. I got there early. I always do. It has a lot to do with the kind of work I have done over the years, a journalist and an actor as well as a teacher. None of those tolerate lateness for any reasons except your life is in jeopardy.
As am I siting there a woman enters. She is short, about 5'3' tall. He has long blond hair. I am the only guy sitting alone at the place so she walks over to me. She introduces herself to me and it is the woman I met online, only it isn't the woman I met online. That was entirely someone else. Not the same person at all.
And when she started speaking I was convinced it was not the same person, in fact totally convinced she could never in a million years have written those funny, clever emails I got. This person was as dull as dirt.
What bothered me most about this was the wrong impression that went back right to the original photos. A lack of truth!
How can you trust someone who cannot be truthful in their photo or their emails? You can't. Buh-bye see you later. Not for me. I have dealt with liars before, and never again if I can help it.
Which goes back to our initial comment about the importance of a photo. We live in a very visual society for most people. We often form first impressions from that first glance. That is how I get called in for auditions based on my look, like it or not. It's just how it goes. Live with it.
And finally, I cannot understand the people who join a dating site and do not put up a photo at all? Why? Is there some underlying deception in your nature that wants to hide who you are? Why?
You are how you are, take it or leave it. And that is how you should present yourself.
Let me know what you think!
http://www.mycustommatch.com.rp118
Don't you want the person you are meeting for that important first date to think, when they see, you wow, just like their photo. First impressions linger. Besides, what does it tell you about someone whose photo looks nothing like them?
I remember once on a dating site starting a conversation with a woman. We exchanged emails and she was funny, smart and delightful. By her photo, she was a woman with short dark hair and blue eyes.
So after some email exchanges I thought what the heck, let's meet. So we did. For coffee. Coffee is a relatively safe bet. You can either extend the time from that initial first contact, or bail if it doesn't seem to be working out--fast!
So we met at a nearby coffee shop. I got there early. I always do. It has a lot to do with the kind of work I have done over the years, a journalist and an actor as well as a teacher. None of those tolerate lateness for any reasons except your life is in jeopardy.
As am I siting there a woman enters. She is short, about 5'3' tall. He has long blond hair. I am the only guy sitting alone at the place so she walks over to me. She introduces herself to me and it is the woman I met online, only it isn't the woman I met online. That was entirely someone else. Not the same person at all.
And when she started speaking I was convinced it was not the same person, in fact totally convinced she could never in a million years have written those funny, clever emails I got. This person was as dull as dirt.
What bothered me most about this was the wrong impression that went back right to the original photos. A lack of truth!
How can you trust someone who cannot be truthful in their photo or their emails? You can't. Buh-bye see you later. Not for me. I have dealt with liars before, and never again if I can help it.
Which goes back to our initial comment about the importance of a photo. We live in a very visual society for most people. We often form first impressions from that first glance. That is how I get called in for auditions based on my look, like it or not. It's just how it goes. Live with it.
And finally, I cannot understand the people who join a dating site and do not put up a photo at all? Why? Is there some underlying deception in your nature that wants to hide who you are? Why?
You are how you are, take it or leave it. And that is how you should present yourself.
Let me know what you think!
http://www.mycustommatch.com.rp118
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